DISCLAIMER: All characters featured within this story are the sole creative property of Seion Makibi and nobody else APOLOGY!!!!!!!: Gomen Nasai. The characters featured within this story are NOT owned by Seion Makibi in any way, shape or form. In fact, the character of Seion Makibi never even appears in this fic. Only characters from the OAV series Tenchi Muyo: Ryo-ohki and Idol Defence Force Hummingbird appear in this fic and both stories are the creative property of people other than Seion Makibi. Seion Makibi is just a pulicity hog who fuels his ego by seeing how many times he can put the phrase "Seion Makibi" into a paragraph. (5 times in this one) So, despite Seion Makibi's (6) attemps, we hope you enjoy this fic written by Patrick M. Stewart........the creator of Seion Makibi (7). Lita Eagle: THAT DOES IT!!!!! (Lita has malleted our writer.........Enjoy the story) Despite her objections, Hazuki Toreishi's daughters had succeded in getting their mother to finally take a vacation. Up to Nagano for a ski trip, and she didn't know the first thing about skiing. Which is probably why she was sitting at a table watching other younger couples having fun. Some vacation...... Despite his son's pleas that he NOT go on vacation, Nobuyuki Masaki defied his son and went anyway. He was gonna have some fun, dammit! But once he got to Nagano, he soon relized that it was rather difficult to have fun all by yourself on a ski trip. And there didn't seem to be any single women (or at least women who wheren't in the company of other men).....except for one lovely, mature woman (and just about his age, too!) "Excuse me, my dear. Is this seat taken?" NO NEED FOR THE TOREISHI SISTERS, BUT I'M GETTING THEM ANYWAY! by Patrick M. Stewart "You WHAT?!!!!!!!!!" the aburn haired Toreishi sister exclaimed. "I just borrowed your baseball cap! What's the big deal?" Satsuki replied "Yayoi's still on edge after hearing about mother falling for some new guy." Kanna said. Kanna walked out of the kitchen with a tray of raspberry cheesecake and tea. "I think it's great that mother has found someone." Mina decided to throw her two cents, or yen in this case, into the discussion "Is that why you asked 'Ijuin-chan' to do a background check of Mr. Masaki?" Almost as soon as Mina uttered that last syllable of her smart-ass remark, she got her customary smack across the cheek from Yayoi. For about a second, Mina just sat there, her face looking into the direction Yayoi's blow directed it towards. Then her eyes filled with a clear, non-alcoholic liquid known as water. And then she cut loose....... "ITAI!!!!!!!!! YAYOI HIT ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!" she had gotten this routine down perfectly...... but of course, she deserved the slap every time she got it. "Yayoi! Mina wasn't making fun of YOU!" Uzuki stated. "Sorry. Force of habit!" So endth Another Toreishi Family Moment......... Meanwhile.....in a small....err, LARGE house in the countryside of Okyama, near the base of a hill on top of, which stood the Masaki Shrine, which itself was near a cave where a legendary demon was imprisoned, Tenchi Masaki was having problems all his own. "You can't hide from us in this house, Tenchi!" exclaimed Ryoko. "We spend 24 hours a day here!" Aeka added. "And don't bother calling One of the others for help!" "Yeah! Your father's on vacation, Yosho's taking part in a Go tournament, and Washu and Mihoshi have taken Sasami to a Shoujo Convention!" Tenchi bolted out the door and made for the stairs to the shrine. As evidenced by his appearence, Aeka and Ryoko had had enough of his indecisiveness and decided to take matters into their own hands......he was gettin' both of them whether he liked it or not....of course, when confronted by this fact, Tenchi did what any red-blodded anime boy would do.....HE RAN LIKE HELL!! "MUST....MAKE IT.....TO.....CAVE!!!!!!" Obviously, Tenchi was afraid of two beautifull girls holding him down and forcibly making love to him, the real puzzle being WHY? Of course, his running to the cave was pointless as Ryoko could fly, and teleport...and blow things up..and punch holes in the ceiling. Not to mention Aeka's Guardians. But Tenchi didn't seem to relize this. He was just running to save his life..well, not his life so much as it was something else. What a baka! "Should we chase him down, Miss Ryoko?" "Na.....we'll let him catch his breath first. Let's hit the onsen while we wait." "Still, we'd better post Azaka and Kamidake at the cave in case he tries to slip out on us." Darkness.....cold, clamy darkness. The darkness of the cave was almost as bad as the 'orrible, 'orrible silence. If some sound managed to disrupt the silence, it may just have scared the living daylights out of Tenchi, which is exactly what happened when the cel phone that Nobuyuki had given his son just in case there was an emergency picked that exact moment to sound the alarm for an incoming call. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Outside of the cave, Azaka and Kamidake were discussing what nice weather they were having. Inside the cave, however, the weather was a bit on the stormy side. After regaining his composure from the downpour of sweat and tears he had unleashed on himself Tenchi picked up the still ringing phone. Half expecting it to be another one of his "friends" prank calling him (The other half expecting it to be Ryoko, Aeka or Sasami prank calling him), he answered "Kaji's Crematorium. You kill'em, we grill'em!" "Tenchi? Is that you?" "Dad? I thought you were only gonna call if there was an emergency" then an awful thought had occured to Tenchi "Oh no! You're in the hosipital, aren't you?" "Actually, I am, but thats not the-" "I knew going on a ski trip was a mistake! I tried every way of getting you not to go! I tried asking you, telling you, ordering you, reasoning with you and so help me I even tried pleading you not to go, but as usual, you let me down yet again. It's like I always sa-" Tenchi's sermon was abruptly put to an end by a woman's voice. "NO MORE SPEECHES! START ACTING LIKE A SON AND LISTEN TO YOUR FATHER!!!!!!!!!" "...yes, ma'am." Aeka and Ryoko were enjoying a nice coversation in the onsen over warm sake and chocolate when they heard a most disturbing sound from the vicinity of the cave... "YOU WHAT?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" "That's right, son!" Nobuyuki continued "I met her over a cup of tea. One thing led to another and-" "And that's when you hurt yourself skiing, right?" "No. Actually, I got hurt doing something else. Something involving a hot tub and wine." "And just what was that?" "Oh my son. You are so absolutely clueless, aren't you?" "Yes I am!" Tenchi said with a hint of sarcasm in his voice "Why don't you try enlightening me?" It was that moment (as if he had uttered a magical word) that Tenchi was teleported to the onsen. Girl's side. Inbetween Ryoko and Aeka. Naked. "Oh. I see what you mean." Yes. Tenchi was about to find out how you could get hurt in a hot tub. Big time. It was a week later. There, at the helipad were the Sisters Toreishi. Yayoi was holding up a sign that had the family name scrawled upon it. "Yayoi," Satsuki inquired, "why are you holding up a sign with our name on it?" "Why? So mom will see us, of course!" "But we're the only ones here. This is our private airfield." Uzuki pointed out. Yayoi looked around for a few seconds and then said "I knew that." "Did you also know that you are the subject of many girls fantasies? Some of them think you're a boy, Yayoi." And with that, Mina once again got the slap she worked so hard to earn. "ITAI!!! YAYOI HIT ME!!!!!!!!!" and once again, Mina was ignored, mainly because the only sister who would have said anything was distracted with other matters, namely someone who called her "Kanna-chan" "Kanna! I said 'ITAI! YAOI HIT ME!'" Mina called out trying to get her onee-chan's attention "HEY! What have I told you about calling me Yaoi?" "That's nice, Mina." Kanna said as she was watching Ijuin running up towards where she was standing. "Kanna-chan! The helicopter will be landing in about two minutes!" Ijuin called out. "Really? That's great, Ijuin-chan!" Without a thought, Kanna took Ijuin's hand....then she relized what she was doing and started to blush, as did Ijuin. "Well...it...it was the least I could do." Ijuin replied...sweating as he did. "Geeze! Why don't you two just get a hotel room and get it over with?" Yayoi butted in "All I ever see out of you two is taking each other's hands and blushing! It's sickening!" "Yayoi's just jealous because when guys turn red around her, it because they are embarrassed to be seen with her!" "Oh, a wiseguy, huh?" Yayoi said doing her impression of Curly of the Three Stooges. But before Yayoi got close to Mina, Satsuki held her back. "Come on, Yayoi! No need to hit her! Just remember that when Mina gets to be our age, boys are gonna avoid her because of her lousy personality!" Satsuki stated with a smile. Mina's eyes welled up with tears....real ones. "That hurt, Satsuki." "Enough, girls! Here she comes!" Kanna yelled out, trying to be heard over the incoming helicopter. The Sisters Toreishi lined up to greet their mother. Yayoi took out her sign and held it above her head. After the whirlybird landed and powered down, Hazuki stepped out to a greeting from he little girls... "Hi, Mama!" (And if you are a Hummingbird fan, then you should be rolling around on the floor laughing your ass off at that joke. ^u^) "Hello, girls! Did you have fun while I was away?" Mina was the first to speak "We tried to, but Kanna wouldn't let us!" "Kanna? Why didn't you let them have some fun" "Well, because Mina's and Yayoi's idea of fun involved a bike race through the house!" Kanna retorted. "Yayoi! I've told you a hundred times not to run the Kawasaki in the house!" "Come on, mom! I've got to maintain my 'Tom Cruise' attitude with the team! And if that means flying by the seat of my pants, racing bikes all over town, and singing 'You've Lost That Loving Feeling' to strangers at a Kareoke bar, then that's what I'm gonna do! By the way.... WHADIJYABRINGME?!!" Yayoi exclaimed, diving for Hazuki's bags. "Me too! Me too!" Mina and Uzuki shouted in unison, joining Yayoi-onee-chan. "When we get home, girls!" Hazuki said "Mother," Satsuki inquired "what can you tell us about Mr. Masaki?" "Well, first of all, he's an architecht who designed his own home, which is at the base of a Shinto Shrine. He has a son named........." "TENCHI!" Ryoko and Aeka sang out. "What is it now, girls?" he replied. The extended Masaki family was waiting at the train station. Tenchi was trying to steel himself against the strain of Ryoko and Aeka, each of whom was attached to one of his arms "Will your father be here soon?" Aeka asked "And is he bringing us anything?" added Ryoko. "Hey! You shouldn't ask Tenchi-ni-chan if his father brought us any gifts" Sasami said. "Of course he brought us something!" Yes, unlike another cute little sister with two ponytails sticking out of the sides of her head, Sasami didn't get slapped for making smar-aleck remarks. Instead, she got........ "Sasami! It's impolite to expect gifts all the time!" Aeka admonished Sasami. "But why? Don't you like getting presents?" "Well......you see.....now whether I.......It's just not polite! That's why!" "What if it's chocolate?" asked Sasami "CHOCOLATE?!! WHERE?!!" Ryoko and Aeka once again said in unison, looking around if they did. Poor Tenchi.......what was his problem, anyway? Meanwhile, Washu and were Mihoshi were looking over the train schedule. "So, when do you think he'll be here, Washu?" "Well, given the speed of the train and the average time stopover time per stop, and taking into accout the time of day, temperature, wind speed, and atmospheric conditions, not to mention the weight of the train and track condtions...." Washu started punching numbers in on her phantom computer. "1 minute and 45.758 seconds, right Washu?" Mihoshi said Just as Mihoshi said that, Washu punched in the last number, and sure enough, "1:45.758" started flashing on the screen..... "How did you do that?" "Do what, Washu?" "COMPUTE A COMPLEX EQUATION FASTER THAN MY COMPUTER!!!!!!" "I did?" "ARGGH!! I outta mail you to Amano! That way you can irritate your former partner!" Washu started looking up shipping rates from Earth to Amano when.... "You might wanna use the Orion route then. It's 1 hour and 23 minutes faster than the standard shipping route, plus pirate attacks are 132% lower along it." "THERE! THERE YOU GO AGAIN!!!!!!!" Washu was now obviously upset that this apparent "bubblehead" was now outspeeding the most advanced computer ever in doing complex mathematics. "HOW CAN YOU POSSIBLY BE A FASTER NUMBER CRUNCHER THAN MY COMPUTER?!!!!!!!" She screamed, grabbing Mihoshi by her already strained clothing. "Um....Washu-chan......people are looking at us." "Uh-oh....use the Amnesia Ray" "You mean my pistol?" "Yes.....and don't for get to give yourself a shot." "LOOKIT! LOOKIT!" Sasami cheered "Here comes the train" and sure enough, 1 minute and 45.758 seconds from when Mihoshi stated it's arrival time, the train came to a complete stop. "See? I told you!" "Shut up! Shut up! SHUT UP!!!!!" A few minutes later, the "family" was loaded into the van and on their way home. Tenchi was seated in the back, in betwixt the princess and the pirate, both of whom were sporting their new "I'm with Baka!" shirts, and both arrows were pointing at Tenchi. Trying to change the topic BEFORE it got started, Tenchi asked "So......uh.....what's with this new woman, dad?" "Well, like I said, she doesn't want me to tell you her name until she brings her daughters over to our house for dinner next week." "Dinner?" said Sasami "Over to our house?" Ryoko replied "Next week?" added Aeka "D-daughters?" trembled Tenchi "How many?" "Five of them." "F-f-f-five?" Yes, Tenchi. Five. "Kanna! Yayoi! Satsuki! Uzuki! Mina! Are you ready yet?" Hazuki stood in the living room, dressed in a pink "dinner" suit. And awaiting her daughters to finish getting dressed as well. "Coming, Mama!" they replied in chorus Kanna was the first to come down. As usual, she was dressed to kill. Tonight's selection was a red Chinese dress with a phoenix design to it. She even had her hair done in the Chinese Style. Then came Satsuki, dressed much less elaborate than Kanna, wearing a simple blue party dress. Next was Uzuki, who decided that a summer dress with a tropical print was proper for the occasion. She was followed by Mina, who came down in a white blouse and a pair of red skirted over- alls with a red bow tie. How cute. If Misaki were to see her, she'd have huggled the little thing to death. "Yayoi! Hurry up!" Satsuki called out "We're ready to go!" "I'm comin'! I'm comin'!" Out stepped Yayoi, dressed in what appeared to be a grey tailored "cut-off" suit (apparently a man's suit), "cut-off" meaning that one leg was completely cut off (and tailored) and the sleeves where shortened to her elbow's. She topped the whole look off with her "Indianan Jones" hat and her biker boots. The rest of the family sweatdropped at the sight. "What?" "Why do I have to get all dressed up?" Ryoko protested "Because we have guest coming over for dinner, that's why! Now will you please put something appropriate on?" was Tenchi's reply. Out warped Ryoko, only to phase in a few seconds later in a VVERY low-cut (but actually very tasetful) blouse and blue jeans....and was it Tenchi's imagination, or was Ryoko actually wearing a bra...and a Wonder-Bra at that? Man, you could get echo from Ryoko's ...ahem, ANYWAY..... "You like?" "Me like....I mean, That's very nice, Ryoko" Tenchi said, trying to act like he wasn't looking at Ryoko's chest. "MISS RYOKO!" Aeka's voice rang out from behind the two "How dare you dress like that for Mr. Masaki's guest!" Aeka walked down the stairs wearing a skirt and jacket combo...and no blouse.. .and ALSO one of those damn bras. What were these two trying to do to Tenchi? "What are you talking about? You're showing off just as much as me!" "True, but you can't dress like that with out the proper accessories and make-up! Come along, Ryoko! We have to get you ready." Aeka said, leading Ryoko back up stairs. "And perfume! You need perfume! And we'll do something with your hair....." Tenchi let out a sigh....why him? Tenchi finished straiting his tie and continued to the living room, wear he found Nobuyuki, also wearing a suit and tie. "So, dad. When ar they supposed to get here?" "Actually, they are supposed to arrive here any minute now." Nobuyuki replied. "I'd say 2 minutes, 35.78 seconds if what you told me is true." Washu triumphantly stated. Into the room walked Washu, followed by Mihoshi, who was wearing some sort of crown type thing from which a cable ran that connected to Washu's computer. "Washu, take that thing off of her! She's not a computer processor!" "BUT SHE'S SO MUCH FASTER THAN MY ILLUDIUM Q-36 PROCESSOR!!!!" Washu cried. "NOW, Washu!" Tenchi said, turning away to exit the room "And please get dressed." "Anything you say, Tenchi." Waitaminute! That wasn't Washu's normal voice! That was...That was... "WASHU-SAN!!!!!!!!!".....Tenchi took a look, then made a mad dash out of the room "Okay, okay.....I WON'T wear the gold jumpsuit" "Two minutes till we get there, Mama!" the dimunitive helicopter pilot said. "Thank you, Mina-chan." replied her mother. "Wow!" Satsuki said looking out the window "Is the house really at the bottom of that hill with the shrine at the top of it?" "That's the one!" Hazuki replied "Wow! Look at the lake next to it!" Uzuki exclaimed "So THAT'S why you had floats put onto the helicopter." said Kanna "Does Mr. Masaki have a boat?" Yayoi asked "I'm not sure, but we'll ask him when we get there!" "DAD!!!!! THERE'S A HELICOPTER LANDING IN THE LAKE!!!!!!!" Tenchi yelled out "THAT'S THEM, SON!" Sasami came running out of the kitchen. "WOW! A HELICOPTER! OH BOY!!!" "Hey, Mom, is that them?" inquired Yayoi. "That's them!" The helicopter pulled up to the dock and Tenchi tied it off. Then the door to the copter opened up "Tenchi, there's something I have to tell you about these ladies." "Don't worry. Just as long as one of them isn't Yayoi Toreishi, I'll be happy." Tenchi replied. "AND WHAT IF ONE OF THEM IS?!!!!" Yayoi exclaimed as she stepped out "WAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!! THE TOREISHI SISTERS!!!!!!! HORRAY!!!!!!" Well, at least Sasami seemed to be happy END CHAPTER 1