DISCLAIMER: The following characters, shows, aircraft, locations, logos, name, ideas of the story, your ideas, and those of your family and friends are licensed trademarks, copyrights, patents, and trade secrets of Hard 8 Enterpirses® [a Subsidiary of Gary™ Jackson™®] APOLOGY!: Gary™ Jackson™® does not own ANYTHING having to do with this fic save his name. This fic has been painstakingly constructed by torturers living in a dungeon using classic, hand- tooled jokes and site gags. This fic has been designed to sit on your hard drive in amongst the copies of Aikan Muyo! Ryoko's Love, Confess to You, and a Startica Song, and to be deleted when your hard drive crashes and is reformatted. Any complaints about the humorous quality of this fic should be sent to Yayoi Toreishi c/o seion@geocities.com HEY!!!!!!! SEION PRODUCTIONS , TOHO LDC and PIONEER LDC PRESENT.... "TENCHI! DID YOU KNOW THAT THEY ARE THE TOREISHI SISTERS?!!!!!!" Sasami exclaimed as her eyes widened "You know who the Toreishi Sisters are, don't ya?!" Tenchi was unable to respond. He was too busy staring down the length of Yayoi's arm, the hand of which had attached itself to Tenchi's necktie "Go ahead! Tell me WHY you were hoping it wasn't me? I'm waiting!" she then took a closer look at her prisoner "Wait a minute....don't I know you?" MY SISTERS TOREISHI CHAPTER 2: "You Two Are Gonna WHAT?!!!!" Flashback to 10 years ago.......... "Hey! What's down that cave?" the little auburn haired girl asked her father. "No adventuring this time, Yayoi." replied a man in the uniform of the JSDF. "Why don't you go play with Mr. Masaki's Grandson while I visit the shrine?" "Yes, Papa!" she said, running in the direction of a black-haired little boy, minding his own business. "Hi! My name is Yayoi Toreishi! What's yours?" "Tenchi Masaki! WOW! Is that a Convoy figure? "Yup!" "I got that tape recorder guy! Wanna play?" "Sure, but first, I wanna know what's down that cave!" "Grampa says we're not allowed down there!" The young lady ran toward the gate and tried to open it, only to find out it had a lock on it. "Nuts! It's lock-ked! Do you know where the keys are?" "They are in Grampa's room, but I'm not allowed in there!" Tenchi stated. The little girl looked at him "Well, go get them!" "NO WAY! I'll get in trouble!" "Yer just escared!" "I am not escared!" And, just like when they grow up, little boys are vulnerable to the request and taunts of the female of the species. And thus, Tenchi was looking through his Grandfather's things for those elusive keys when a shadow was cast upon him. "TENCHI!" Outside, near the cave, Yayoi awaited the young boy, but when he came back, he was without the implements for unfixing the tumblers of the securing mechanism. "Where are the keys so we can open the lock?" "Grampa caught me trying to take them!" "YOU GOT CAUGHT?!!!!!!! HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO SEE WHAT'S DOWN THERE?!!!!" "You wanna know what's down there? I'll tell you! It's a really big monster! And he can walk over mountains! And eat whole cities, too! Grampa said so!" "Sure you didn't hear that on TV? Sounds like all you got down there is Godzilla!" "Yeah! Well...at least the monster's not some stoopid girl cootie-factory!" Before Tenchi could react, the bigger and stronger girl had tackled him and was sitting on his chest, grabbing him by the shirt and continuously lifting him up and slamming his back into the dirt. "YOU SONAVA-! I'M GONNA BEAT THE-" "YAYOI! TIME TO GO! YOUR MOM AND SISTERS ARE GONNA MEET US AT THE PARK!" Capt. Toreishi called out to his daughter. "COMING, PAPA!" Yayoi called back. "I'll remember this, you little runt! You'll wish you never heard of the name Yayoi Toreishi! YOU'LL wish you never even heard of LITTLE GIRLS!!" Yayoi then hopped off of the little boy and headed towards where her father was. "Race you down the stairs, Papa?" "Girl! Bad...Girl! Bad...Girl...Hurt! Bad...Girl...hurt...Tenchi!" Sitting on a rock next to the cave, a certain spectral Space Pirate giggled at her little friend's misfortune. Flash Forward to Today...... "I remember that day.....I mean, I remember Tenchi telling me that story." Ryoko said with a giggle. "HEY! She hurt me really bad!" Tenchi snapped "I'm sorry, Tenchi. I just find that story really cute." "You mean YOU'RE the reason Tenchi's afraid of girls?" Mihoshi asked "Heh, I guess that would be me." Yayoi responed with a chuckle. "That's not funny! That's just plain disturbing!" Aeka said. "Boy! You sounded like a fun kid back then, Yayoi!" Sasami said, trying to hang up the phone as inconspicuously as possible. "Wait till you see the dinner I'm making tonight!" Kanna's ears perked up "YOU are cooking dinner tonight?" "Yup! I'm making a big Chinese type dinner...with brownies!" Sasami exclaimed...then she smelled something not right... "OH NO! THE BROWNIES!!!!!!!" Sasami hopped up and ran her little legs off to the kitchen, with Kanna not far behind. When Sasami opened the door, her sense of smell was confirmed. "Oh no...the brownies are....the brownies are burnt!" Sasami's eyes began to tear up. "Don't cry, Sasami." Kanna said, trying to cheer the little blue-haired girl up. "But that was dessert! And I worked so hard on it! I even used fresh cocoa beans to make it!" Sasami sobbed. "I wanted to make a perfect dessert, and now it's ruined." "Dessert? Is that all?" Kanna said smiling "Let me see what else we have to make a dessert with." Kanna walked over to the refrigerator and start looking around and then took a look over in Sasami's direction. "Sasami, do you prefer strawberries, raspberries, blueberries, or cherries on your cheese- cake?" she asked with one of her smiles "So, mother tells me that this is a boarding house for schoolgirls, is that right?" Satsuki asked Tenchi's father "Schoolgirls?" Tenchi, Aeka, Ryoko, and Washu all thought in unison, then they looked in the direction of Nobuyuki. It had finally dawned on them as to why Mr. Masaki had given them those pamphlets to the local high school a few days back. The ones he had them read and memorize. "Yep. Aeka, Ryoko, and Washu here all go to the same school as Tenchi." "So, a house full of pretty young schoolgirls. Ya gettin' any, Tenchi? Nudge-Nudge! Wink- Wink! Say no more? Yayoi said in a terrible impression of Eric Idle "What about school do you like the most, Aeka?" Hazuki asked the princess "Oh...well, my favorite subject is....uh..the forensics team! Yes! That's it. I just love debating the issue's with my, uh, classmates!" Her Highness replied with a sweatdrop. "Why don't you tell them YOUR favorite part of school Ryoko?" Aeka said, nudging her companion "Wha? Oh! Well..I like...the VOLLEYBALL team! Yes, that's what I am! The star of the school's volleyball squad! Me and my friends even went down to the...uh...National...uh...BEACH VOLLEYBALL tournament a couple months ago and won! We beat some team from Tokyo!" "Gee that's funny...considering Yayoi and I won that Tournament!" Satsuki replied. "Yeah, we beat our long time rivals the Fever Girls!" "Did I say Beach Tournament? I meant the National High School Invitational Tournament!" "Gorin High won that!" Yayoi snapped back. "Uh....WASHU! Why don't you tell them about your...umm...Science Fair Project?" Aeka said, coming in for the save. "Huh? Wha.....I, uh....You see, I'm......." luckily for Washu, there was a knock at the door. "I'LL GET IT!!!!" Aeka, Ryoko, and Washed elatedly cried out, each of them making a break for the door. Upon opening the portal, they found one of Sasami's friends from the place next door. "Hello, Misao!" The three greeted the little black-haired child "H-Hello. Can I talk to Sasami?" Misao asked, more nervously than usual. "Why of course, Misao." Aeka replied. "She's in the kitchen. Ryoko, could you get Sasami?" "Sure. No prob." Ryoko turned toward the kitchen, took a deep breath and yelled out "SASAMI!! MISAO IS HERE!!!!!!!!" "I could have done that, Miss Ryoko!" A few seconds later, Sasami appeared. "Oh, what a suprise, Misao!" Sasami greeted her friend without trying to look suspicious. "Why don't you come and have a seat in the living room?" Sasami was still doing a bad job of trying not to look as if she had Misao come over. All doubt of Sasami's acting job was confirmed when her playmate saw who was in the front room........ "OH WOW!!! You're right, Sasami! They REALLY are here!.....I mean....Sasami! Did you know that the Toreishi Sisters are in your house!" "Heh-heh. Um....." Sasami's eyes darted around the room. "Um...I'm going back in the kitchen." Sasami then made a break for the Kitchen. Ryoko and Aeka then looked at Misao. "What? I really didn't know they were here. I was just bringing Sasami a book." "So where's the book at?" Ryoko asked "Um.....Okay! Sasami called me up and told me!" confessed the little green-eyed girl, those same green eyes beginning to tear up. Hazuki walked over to Misao. "No need for tears, little girl. We get fans trying to see us all the time. So what's your name?" "M-Misao Amano." "Amano?" Yayoi's ears pricked up "Any relation to that lovely and talented voice actress, Yuri Amano?" Yayoi hopped over the couch and in front of Misao. (10 points to anyone who gets that joke!) "I-I don't think so..." "But you look just like her? Can I keep her, Mama?" Yayoi said, hugging the little girl. "She's so much cuter than Mina!" "HEY!" "No, Yayoi. She has parents who probably want the little girl back." "Okay. But I wanna give her a nickname. I shall call her......Mini-Yuri." Everyone in the house, except for Misao and Yayoi, facefaulted. Mina then walked up to Misao, shoved Yayoi out of the way, and started to introduce her- self. "Hi! I'm-" "MINA TOREISHI!" gleefully exclaimed "You're every little girl's idol! Everyone girl in town wishes she were you!" "You mean they all want an Amazoid older sister picking on them?" "WHY YOU LITTLE-" Hazuki, Ryoko, and Aeka did their best to restrain Yayoi from moidalizing her little sis. Meanwhile, Mina, Misao and Sasami all continued their conversation. "No, I mean you get to be on TV and you get to fly a plane and record CD's too!" "Oh, that. Well, it's fun some of the time, but the rest of the time it's just work. You have no idea how hard fame can be!" "Yup. She's right ya know!" Sasami inadvertently blurted out. Then it occurred to her that while everybody on Jurai knew her face, nobody on earth knew who she was. "Sasami? You know what fame's like?" Misao asked. Sasami sweatdropped and then replied "Uh...well, not really, but I think I know what Mina means. Heh-heh. Um.......Let's go help get dinner ready. Is it all right if Misao stays for dinner, Mr. Masaki?" "Well," Nobuyuki murmured, "Seeing as you two probably planned this, and knowing what a big fan of the Toreishi Sisters Misao is..........well, why not?" "YATTA!!!!" Misao and Sasami cried out.......and, having nothing better to do, Misao joined them as they kept cheering and made their way to the kitchen. The room fell silent for a few moments....people's eyes darting around the room, looking for something to say. Misao's glee at finding out that Kanna Toreishi was helping make dinner was the only sound that could be heard. That's when Mihoshi decided to speak. "Is it true you have a pet seaweed named Marimo-chan, Uzuki?" The Masaki's (and the girls living with them) facefaulted. Washu was the first to respond to Mihoshi's seemingly inane inquiry. "Of all the stupid-- WHERE did YOU get the IDEA... thatalittlegirlkeepsseaweedasapet?" "I read it in the news!" was Mihoshi's response. "For the last time, the tabloids AREN'T NEWS!!!! No little girl keeps seaweed as a PET! Tell her you don't keep seaweed as a pet!" The Toreishi's couldn't help but snicker "Well? Tell her that's not true!" Washu pleaded "I'm afraid it is, Miss...Washu, is it?" "WHAT? You mean she really...." "Yup, she does. And she just woves her Marimo-chan so much" Satsuki teased "Hey! Stop making fun of my Marimo-chan!" Of course, by this time, Ryoko was the one who couldn't keep from laughing. "Mihoshi..heh-heh..knew something that Ma- I mean, Washu didn't know!!!!!!" After about another hour or so of lying, impressing the "plebeians", and Yayoi's dissertation on how Two-Mix got the job to perform the songs on Gundam Wing by sleeping with the producers, and thereby cheating her and her sisters out of a lucrative job, Sasami announced that the preparations for the meal were complete. People then started heading for the dinning room. Yayoi tried to stop them. "But don't you wanna hear about the lead singer and her leather thong and what she was doing with the director?" "Ooo! Ooo! I DO! I DO!" Tenchi replied excitedly "Yayoi, please stop making fun of that nice girl already! It's dinner time!" admonished Mrs. Toreishi. "Besides, didn't YOU wear a leather thong when you dressed as a barbarian just to beat your sisters at a Halloween Costume Pageant?" "I had to! Kanna went dressed as that biker-chick from Golden Boy!" And so, both families made their way to dinner, and a good time was had by all. As dinner wound down and dessert was being served, Nobuyuki stood up to make an announcement. "I'll bet you are all wondering why we decided to gather for dinner tonight." "Too make Lord Tenchi uncomfortable?" "I'm going with Aeka on this one." Ryoko said in agreement "I'll have to say 'Make the boy uncomfortable', too." Yayoi added "Same here!" was Mina's response "GIRLS!!!!!!!" Nobuyuki and Hazuki yelled out. The room again fell silent. Nobuyuki continued with his announcement. "Anyway, during the ski trip, Hazuki and I got to talking about how lonely we've been every since we lost our spouses. After a couple days of spending time together, we both relized how much more fun life is when you have somebody to live it with. That's why, last week when the two of us were away at a "business meeting" I asked Hazuki to marry me. And she said..." "Yes" Hazuki finished For a few seconds, the collective families stared at the two soon-to-be-newlyweds. Hazuki blinked a couple times and finally stated "You may cheer for us." "YATTA!!!!! WEDDING!!!! WEDDING!!!" sang out the choir of young ladies! Mina went into her "happy dance routine" while Sasami and her sister bounced up and down. Ryoko broke out a bottle of Sake. "THIS CALLS FOR A CELEBRATION!!!! To TENCHI'S NEW MOM!" And all were happy, except for two of the party-goers. "Tenchi, did they just say....." "I'm afraid so.....Yayoi..." Yayoi and Tenchi just sat there looking out the window. The sky turned a shade of grey. Rain started pouring out of the sky. Then a thunderbolt struck nearby. "Oh my!" Kanna responded in a Kasumi Tendo manner. "That bolt hit the helicopter!" "So, does that mean you're stuck her for the night?" asked Misao Yes, Mini-Yuri. Yes indeedilly-doodley. "YATTA! SLUMBER PARTY!!!!!!" All Tenchi and Yayoi could do was stare out the window...........