DISCLAIMER: You are a fool if you think the author owns anything to do with this story. Do you honestly think that if he did own any of the characters in this fic he'd be writing fan fiction for you losers? HELL FRIGGIN' NO!!!!! He'd have money in both hands and shouting "Yippie! Yippie!" APOLOGY!: You readers are not losers. The author of this story, however, is a complete and total loser. REBUTTAL: YOU TAKE THAT BACK, YOU FLAT-CHESTED, LOUD MOUTH AMAZIOD!!!!!! Seion: ITAI!!!!! YAYOI HIT ME!!!!!! SEION PRODUCTIONS , TOHO and PIONEER LDC PRESENT.... "Damn storm! It's wrecking the helicopter!" "MINA!" Hazuki scolded "Language!" "Mama! You let Yayoi use language all the time!" "Don't bring your sister into this! You know her and Tenchi aren't taking this marriage thing to well." As they were at the end of the second chapter, Tenchi and Yayoi were still staring into blank space. Obviously, they were a bit uneasy about their parents announcement. MY SISTERS TOREISHI CHAPTER 3: "Can You Keep a Secret?" "Stupid parent having to go on stupid vacation and fall in stupid love and come back and tell us all they're getting stupid married!" "I think it's a bad idea too." Tenchi replied in agreement "Because if they get married, that means that you'll be my sister, and frankly I can't stand you." "WHAT THE?!!! YOU BASTARD!!!! I'LL KILL YOU!!!!!" and, just like a decade prior, Yayoi was once again sitting on Tenchi's chest and pounding his back into the ground "I AIN'T LETTING THAT ONE PASS!!!!!" "Hey! Get off of him!" Aeka tried to intervene, but was stopped by Nobuyuki. "Let them be. They're acting like siblings now" "ITAI!!!! DAD, YAYOI'S HITTING ME!!!!!!!!" "See? Just like brother and sister." chuckled Mr. Masaki "Wow, she really IS treating Tenchi like one of us." Uzuki said. About an hour had passed. The storm still raged on. Tenchi had once again been manhandled by a woman (a seemingly common occurrence in his life). And now the gang was looking for something to watch on TV. Aeka was looking through the TV listings when she saw something she liked. "They're showing a wonderful tale of a woman searching for love after a terrible war!" "What time does it start?" Satsuki inquired "RIGHT NOW!!!" Aeka grabbed the remote and turned it on just in time for the opening credits "Oh god...that music reeks of 'chick-flick'" Yayoi replied "I agree. I think I'll go to my room and watch 'Hard Boiled'" Tenchi said "OOO! CHOW YUN PHAT!!!!!!!!" Exclaimed the Toreishi of the auburn locks, practically drooling at the thought of said action film star "May I joins ya?" "Okay, just try not to hurt me." "No problem! Girls, call me if the bishonen samurai disrobes!" Yayoi said "Ditto on the geisha" added Tenchi. Every girl in the room gave Tenchi a dirty look. Which means everyone but his dad. "Oh come on! You weren't offended when Yayoi said the same thing!!" "Come on, Tenchi! Less pleading, more bleeding! Chow-chan awaits!" Yayoi said as she drug Tenchi up the stairs. Tenchi began wondering if Yayoi referred to Jackie Chan as "Chan-chan" About thirty minutes into the 'samurai chick-flick' Kanna checked her watch. "Hmmm...there's something I usually do around this time. What is it?" "You too?" Sasami said, looking at the clock "You're right. There's something I usually do around this time too....something to do with TV..." "No, something to do with cooking....." replied Kanna. The two of them thought for a while and then it hit them... Kanna and Sasami then looked at each other nose-to-nose and exclaimed "IRON CHEF!!!!!" "Quick! I have a TV in the kitchen! Hurry!" Sasami yelped as she made her way out of the room. For a few seconds, there was yet MORE awkward silence....then Uzuki spoke up. "So Kanna really ISN’T the only person who watches that show..." "Funny. I was thinking the same thing about Sasami..." agreed the Detective "GIRLS! He’s training without his top on!!" Aeka exclaimed. It took less than half a second for the girls to crowd in front of the TV. It was about 9:00 in the evening when the storm finally passed. As the Toreishi’s surveyed the damage, they all came to the same conclusion... "It’s freaking trashed!" Yayaoi’s remarks reflected the opinion of the rest of the family. "The main rotor’s bent. The tail rotor’s GONE! This old bird isn’t going anywhere." Kanna said as she was writing all the damage assessments down. "Well of course it isn’t! Just take a look at those two big logs that hit it!" Mina exclaimed as she shone a flashlight in the direction of the lake. And there, sure enough, floating in the middle of it were Azaka and Kamidake. "What lovely spring weather..." Kamidake remarked, trying to imitate Azaka "Shut up" "Well, I guess it's settled. We'll have to stay here tonight, if that's alright, Nobuyuki." "Of course it is. We'll just come up with a sleeping arrangement..." A few minutes later..... "Okay, time to draw names out of the hat!" Nobuyuki declared. "Since Sasami, Mina and Misao are all having a sort of slumber party and Washu is.... well, Washu, I'm putting the names of the rest of the sisters in a hat and Ryoko, Aeka, Mihoshi, and Tenchi will draw." "Oh I can see where this is leading!" Tenchi groaned Ryoko drew first "I got Kanna." Aeka was next "Satsuki!" Then it was Mihoshi's turn. "Alah! I got Uzuki!" Finally, it was Tenchi. he fumbled around the hat for a few seconds and pulled out the piece of paper. "WOO-HOO! I GOT 7 1/4!!!!!!!" "THAT WAS THE HAT SIZE, YOU NO GIRL GETTING MORON!!!!!!" Everyone stared at Mina for a few seconds. Mina then replied "Well, it's true, ain't it? You loose, looser! You get stuck with Yayoi!" "HELL NO!!!!!" Was a unanimous response from Yayoi, Tenchi, Ryoko AND Aeka. "You can't possibly want me to share a room with this lame-oid! This is the greatest injustice in the history of the world!" "Yayoi's right!" Tenchi blurted out. "So you admit it! You ARE lame!" was the sound emmitted from Mina's smart mouth "HEY NOW! I....I mean.....errr........" Tenchi was at his usual loss for words It twas certain to be a looooooooong night. When next the author decided to set this story, it was 6:00 in the morning. All was quiet in the house... except for a rumbling sound coming from Tenchi's room. When the door opened, Tenchi walked out, the sound revealing itself to be the snoring of his new sibling/roommate. Tenchi walked out holding his ears and mumbling "Man! She sounds like a buzzsaw!" Well, Tenchi made his way down stairs when he smelled something good. He followed his nose to the kitchen, where not only did he see Sasami cooking, but she was joined by Kanna....and RYOKO AND AEKA!!! And they were helping with the COOKING!!!!!!! Tenchi was forced to make A Choice!(DA-DA-DAAAAAAAAAAA!) Go up stairs and face Yayoi in the morning or try to choke down Ryoko and Aeka's breakfast. Fortunately, his indecisivness was a blessing this time, because he then heard something that made his decision for him. "Why didn't anyone teach us how to use a cookbook?" Aeka inquired "Yeah! You know if I had instructions this'd be much easier!" Well....at least a Ryoko/Aeka breakfast wasn't gonna require detoxification this time. Tenchi breathed a sigh of relief... "Well, I won't have to go upstairs with that jackhammer in my room." Tenchi WOULD pick that moment to place his pedal appendage in betwixt his mandibles (uh, he put his foot in his mouth), cause who should come down the stairs but the jackhammer herself. "So, I'm a jackhammer, am I?" Tenchi never could remember what happened in the next 5 minutes. All he knew that he was out on the dock, soaking wet, and holding a stopwatch... and shivering "W-w-w-w-why i-i-i-i-i-i-sssssn't-t-t-t Ry-ry-ryoko-kokoko st-st-stop-ping th-th-th-th-this?" Washu then appeared. "Cause I told a certain daughter of mine that Yayoi's your soon-to-be sister and that she isn't to get involved with sibling rivalry. By the way, why are you holding a stop watch?" "I vaguely remember Yayoi telling me to time her as she swims from one side of the lake to the other and back." Tenchi then took a look at Yayoi, who was on her return leg. "I hate my new sister!" From a window overlooking the dock, Hazuki Toreishi looked out on the scene. "You know, sooner or later, the girls are gonna find out about your 'guest.' I think the sooner we tell them, the better." "I agree, but what's to keep the girls from telling other people about them?" Mr. Masaki asked in response. Hazuki held up one of those big yellow envelopes. "This!" The envelope landed on the breakfast table where the entire families were gathered. "What's this?" Tenchi asked "Incentive." replied the soon-to-be Mrs. Masaki "Incentive?" Ryoko picked up the envelope, tore it open, and poured out the contents: a few pictures, some letters, an audio tape and a video tape. Aeka picked up one of the pictures. "Nani? Satsuki putting socks down her blouse?" "Uzuki's eulogy for Marimo-chan 1?" Mihoshi said reading a note "Mina practicing 'Itai! Yayoi hit me' on tape?" Sasami gasped listening to the audio tape. "KANNA FORGETTING TO INITIAL ON LINE 13 OF THE CONTRACT?!" Ryoko shouted while looking at a piece of paper. "Wait a minute! That's not embarassing.... or is it?" All Kanna could do was turn red with an uneasy look on her face. "HA! You ain't got nothing that'd embarass me in that pile!" beamed Yayoi in triumph. "That's funny. This video says otherwise." Tenchi put the tape in the machine and played it. On the screen popped up a young Yayoi wearing a Transformers shirt with her Convoy figure in hand... and crying. ["Waaaaaaaaaa! Convoy died! Why did Convoy haveda die, Mama?!! Waaaaaaaaaaaa!] "I THOUGHT I BURNED THAT TAPE!!!!!!!" "Sorry, but I made a few copies. I thought it could come in handy in the future." "Mama!" Kanna exclaimed "Why did you show them those things?" "Look! Here's a picture of Yayoi dressed as Minky Mo Mo!" Ryoko laughed as she made her way to the phone. "The tabliods are gonna love this!" "The reason for revealing your secrets has to do with Mr. Masaki's guest." Ryoko turned white. "You can't mean he told you!" "Told us what?" asked Satsuki "Well, maybe I should explain." Nobuyuki cleared his throat. "It all started one summer day..." Approximately 7 hours and five minutes later...... "WOW! What a strange, exciting, and comedic tale with touches of romance, kawaii behaviour, and gratuitous fanservice for ages 13 and older, parental guidence suggested!" Exclaimed Yayoi after hearing the story, sounding like a review for an OAV series. "You can come out now, Ryo-ohki! They know." Ryoko called to her pet/sister/starship. Ryo-ohki finally popped out of her hiding place, starved for carrots. "Miyaaaaaaaaaa.........." "So, you're really princess?" Mina asked the Jurai sisters. "Yup!" "Point of order, people!" Kanna said as she stood up. "Knowing each other's sercrets will prevent us from telling them to other people-" Ryoko snickered "Forgot to initial on line 13!" "Anyway. We all have incentive from telling each other's secrets, except for one of us!" Everyone's gaze was directed toward little Misao Amano. "We'll have to keep her silent.... forever!" Satsuki said, approching Misao "Yes. Forever." added the amethyst tressed princess. Misao screamed... as the scene shifted to the families going downhill on a roller coaster at an amusement park. She was joined by most of the rest of the people on the coaster. "You think this will really buy Misao's silence, Kanna?" Ijuin asked "No, but I'm sure that a recording contract will! HERE COMES ANOTHER HILLLLLLLLL!!!! AHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!" "Yayoi!" Tenchi inquired after the ride "How come you weren't screaming?" "When you go into a low altitude 280 degree dive in HB-2 while trying to lock on an F/a-18 moving at high speed you will know why." "But Ryoko and Aeka did that crash-landing and they were screaming like banshees!" "Yeah, and they also had you to hold on to! You shoulda seen the way Mama was clutching your pop. Not to mention that bearhug Kanna had on Ijuin. Yayoi's just pissed cause she didn't have anyone to grab on to!" the youngest Toreishi blurted out. "Let's go on the ride again, Mina-chan! I'll put a stranglehold on your neck!" Yayoi replied "Umm... maybe we should remove the deathgrip Uzuki and Mihoshi have on the car." Satsuki said, directing the gang's attention to the car where Uzuki and Mihoshi had turned white, their gaze fixed foward, their fingers dug into the metal on the front of the car. "Just offer them some cotton candy. That usually brings Mihoshi around." Soon, Uzuki and Satsuki we freed from their dilema. "And now it's to the white water rafting ride!" added Ryoko grabbing Tenchi's right arm, while Aeka attached herself to his left. "No! We wanna ride the merry-go-round!" protested Sasami, her arms folded over her chest, backed up by Mina and Misao. "I'd rather hit that freefall ride." said Satsuki. Mihoshi and Uzuki nodded in agreement. "Well, maybe we could go off on our own groups and meet back here later." Kanna stated. "Is this plan ageeable to all?" "No!" Of course, the rest ignored Yayoi and nodded in the afirmative. "Washu, will you keep an eye on the girls?" Hazuki asked the scientist. "Sure, but only because I happen to like kids." "Then it's settled! We'll meet back up in three hours! Let's hit that gondola ride, dear!" Hazuki took Nobuyuki by the wrist and lead him off. "Come, Ijuin-chan. The Ferris Wheel awaits." and with that, Kanna and Ijuin headed off on their merry way. "MERRY-GO-ROUND! MERRY-GO-ROUND!" chanted the little ones as they marched off with Washu leading the cheers. And before anyone knew it, Satsuki, Uzuki, and Mihoshi headed for the freefall and later the bungie rides while Tenchi and his hangers-on headed for that whitewater ride, leaving only Yayoi and the Hummingbird producer, Kudo, standing there alone. After a while of silence, Kudo spoke up. "So....." "Uh...yeah" "Hmmm.....errr...... You wanna hit the arcade pavilion?" "Sure." Meanwhile, near the planet Saturn, a Jurian Tree Ship appeared, on it's way to Earth. "It'll so nice to see Sasami-chan again!" beamed Misaki. "You're sure now that Azusa won't be following us to get in the way of our fun, Funaho?" "If he knows what's good for him he won't..... By the way, you're right. Taking the scenic rout was a good idea." SO ENDTH ANOTHER EPISODE OF MY SISTERS TOREISHI