DISCLAIMER: I'LL KILL YOU! I'LL KILL YOU ALL!!!!!!!!!!! (Fires up his chainsaw) APOLOGY: What Seion meant to say, according to his lawyers, was that this story would not be possible without Pioneer, AIC, TOHO, and EMI. "...And this is the in-house recording studio." Satsuki said as she was showing the collective residents of the Masaki estate around the Toreishi estate. "WOW! Can I record a song sometime?" asked Sasami as she pressed her face against the glass, peering into the recording studio. "Only if you're good." replied Hazuki "Come on! Let's get this tour over with!" Yayoi exclaimed as she lead the "tour group" upstairs. "Next is Satsuki's favorite room... THE BATH!" But as Yayoi opened the door, the group discovered an unexpected sight... scented candles illuminating the room... oh, and Kanna and Ijuin in the bath together. After a few awkward moments of silence and a snapping of a picture by Mina, Yayoi closed the door. OPENING SONG: YATSUPARI DAISKUI - Hummingbird MY SISTER TOREISHI - Chapter Four: Conventional Warfare. Hazuki stood over her eldest daughter. "Well?" "I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner." Kanna despondently replied "I don't know what to say, Kanna." "Let me help, mama." Yayoi stood up, cleared her throat, and said "WHAT WERE YOU THINKING? YOU WEREN'T THINKING, WERE YOU? I AM VERY DISAPPOINTED IN YOU! Mina, feel free to help out." And help Mina did. "AND WITH IJUIN OF ALL PEOPLE!! WHAT DO YOU SEE IN HIM? HUH?! DON'T ROLL YOUR EYES AT ME, YOUNG LADY!!!!!" "Knock it off, you two!" Hazuki said, quieting the Toreishis twain. "If you had been listening instead of rolling on the floor laughing, you have known that Kanna and Ijuin plan to get ENGAGED!!!!!" "But doesn't her sleeping with HIM make you laugh?" Yayoi asked "No more than your little 'Dark Mistress Yayoi' thing you pulled with Kudo last week." said Mina, putting her two yen in again "Shut up, Mina." Yayoi said through her teeth "You know the price of my silence." "2500 yen in unmarked currency placed in a plain white envelope locked in the survival kit of HB-5?" "Bingo." "SO! What type of party did you say you were gonna have?" Tenchi inquired as a way to break the tension. "Well, seeing as how your father is a manga fan and most of the guest are rather young, we decided that a Cosplay party would be best. Plus since the party is the day of the local anime and manga convention, we can attend both." "Kickass! Now I have an excuse to dress as Shiris and swing a sword around!" exclaimed the second Toreishi Sister. A lightbulb flicked on in Mina's head, "Wow! Hey, Sasami, let's call Misao and we can dress up like the girls from Rayearth!" "Okay, but I call dibs on Umi!" "You can't do that! It was my idea! I should get to be Umi!" "But I called it!" protested Sasami "Kanna," Mina said "tell her that I have legal grounds to be Umi!" Kanna giggled, then explained: "Sorry, but for people under the age of 15, calling dibs is a perfectly legal and binding contract." "Stupid legal mumbo-jumbo!" --(o)-- About 12 days later... "Are you sure about these costumes?" Aeka asked Ryoko, both of whom were behind a screen. "Relax! You look fine!" As they stepped out from behind the screen, they revealed themselves to be dressed as Lilith and Morrigan (and if you need to be told who was dresses as who, you REALLY get out too much.) "Yes, but your outfit leaves nothing to the imagination." Aeka said, pointing to Ryoko's VERY revealing cleavage. (Figured it out yet?) Meanwhile, the little ones were preparing to be Magically Knighted... "Sasami" Misao asked, holding up a rather large pair of glasses, "are you sure Fuu's glasses are this big?" "Yup! I did the measurements myself!" replied Sasami, who was now wearing her hair down and looking like a chibi version of her favorite Knight. "By the way, Who's Tenchi dressing as?" Uzuki asked as she walked into the room. She had been encouraged to go as Alcione, and her filled the part (and costume) very well. "I'm not sure. I know Kanna and Ijuin are going as some couple named Max and Myria, Yayoi is forcing Kudo to go with her as Shiris and Orson. Hmmmm... Mihoshi plans on going as Pantha and Washu is gonna be Bloodberry. Oh! And Satsuki is going as Satsuki!" Mina replied as the two went into a an exchange reminisant of a comedy team. "You mean she's not gonna dress up?" "No, she's dressing as Satsuki." "Yeah, but Satsuki is who she is!" "Exactly" "You mean that Satsuki is gonna wear her yellow sweater and blue skirt?" "No! Satsuki always wears that black skinsuit with green highlights!" "I haven't scene that in her closet!" "WILL YOU KNOCK OFF THE ABBOTT AND COSTELLO ROUTINE?!!!!" Yayoi screamed. "MINA! Just tell Uzuki that Satsuki is dressing as Satsuki from X/1999?" After a few seconds, Uzuki looked back to her little sister and replied "Was Satsuki in one of those adult films." Yayoi, of course, did a major facefault on that one. Uzuki then whispered to her impish sibling "We're driving Yayoi-onee-chan nuts." "I know! Tee-hee. And you should be calling her 'Yayoi-oni-chan'. She IS a monst-" From the ground that the subject of Mina's taunting was laying, Yayoi delivered another slap to the mouth. Then the usual reply was on it's way out of Mina's mouth. "ITAI!" Ryoko interuppted her with "We know. 'Itai, Yayoi hit you.'" After saying this (no Toreishi seemed to mind her saying this to their little sister) Ryoko then handed a small bundle of white cloth to Sasami. "Here, Washu says this should fit Ryo-ohki." "Oh boy! Now Ryo-ohki can go with us!" Ryo-ohki's ears perked up, then, with a concerned look on her face, said something with a tone of wonderment. "Miya?" A few minutes later, Ryo-ohki was dressed in a Monoka outfit, and none to pleased with the idea. Most of the combined families were finally dressed and ready to go. Hazuki and Nobuyuki were even into it. Their Manzinger and Aphrodite-A suits were great pieces of work. Only one person was missing. "TENCHI!!!!! GET OUT HERE BEFORE I DRAG YOU DOWN THE STAIR BY THAT THING YOU THINK IS A PONYTAIL!!!!!!" From up the stairs, Tenchi yelled back "Keep your bondage gear on, Yayoi! I'll be down in a minute!" "Hey, how did he know I used this outfit as bondage gear?" Mina scooted behind her mama. Out stepped Tenchi, dressed in a blue combatsuit... and wearing red sunglasses... and a Fu Man Chu mustache... and a badge that read, in English, Newport City Police SWAT Tank Team. "Oh you have GOT to be kidding me!" Yayoi said, looking at her soon-to be sibling. "You are actually going as Brenton?" "That's Mister Tank Commander Lt. Charles Brenten to you, baby!" Obviously, someone had done a personality transplant on Tenchi. in fact, everyone said as much. "Obviously, someone has done a personality transplant on you!" (See? Told you they said it.) "What happened to you, Tenchi?" Ryoko said with an air of concern. "Did you drink something out of Washu's lab?" Aeka said with a similar tone "Hey... He might be an EVIL Tenchi from an alternate universe..." pondered Yayoi "HE'S A FAKE!! GET HIM!!!!!" with that, Yayoi pulled out the sword that hung from her belt. "BRING IT ON, BITCH!" responed Tenchi, pulling out his fake gun. "YOU'RE MESSING WITH THE TANK POLICE!" "Calm down, Miss Toreishi." Washu pulled out a set of calculations. "The data CLEARLY shows that all Tenchi's in alternate universes are just as wishy washy and spineless towards the opposite sex as ours... except for this one!" she said as she pointed to the only Tenchi with two "x's" by their name. "Hey, Washu," Detective Kuramitsu asked curiously "Why do all the other Tenchi's have an 'xy' next to their name?" --(o)-- Later, at the Con... "You have got to be the WORST Orson of all time!" said Yayoi as she marched off the stage after reinacting a scene from Lodoss War. "He's in our HAY? What the hell was that?! And for the last time, ORSON DIDN'T WEAR SUNGLASSES!" "Hey, I'm just a producer! YOU'RE the star, here!" Kudo snapped back "Shut UP! You are so punished! Be in my room at midnight for disiplinary action!" Kudo was still rather puzzled by Yayoi's actions toward him as of late "I'M NOT EVEN YOUR BOYFRIEND!" "I SAID IN MY ROOM! NOW STOP YOUR BITCHING!" she berated him, forcing him to leave. Tenchi apporched his soon-to-be-sister-sib "Uh, don't you think you're being hard on him? I mean, he wasn't THAT bad." "Yeah," she chuckled "He wasn't nearly as bad as you. What was you're f up? 'Hey! You're messing with the Tank Fleas!" "You just are't gonna let me live this one down, are you?" "Hell no!" Just then, Yayoi was approched by a man wearing a Decepticon ballcap. "Miss Toreishi," he said "might I have a word with you?" MEANWHILE... "Hello?" Misaki cried out as she knocked on the door to the Misaki residence. "Sasami- chan? Are you home? Funaho then asked "Misaki, do you ever get the feeling that certain offspring are trying to avoid us?" "Never! Sasami-chan would never try to hide try to hide from her Okaa-sama!" replied the second queen, her eyes full of tears. "She was not the offspring I was reffering to." Funaho then looked over her shoulder and said, "Isn't that right, Yosho?" There stood the son of a Jurain King and a Heian Princess, frozen in mid-tippy-toe stride, sandals in hand. BACK TO YAYOI & TENCHI... "So let me get this strait. All I have to do is don an Elita One suit and sing "Dare", "The Touch" and the Tranformers The Movie closing theme and you guys set me up in a posh room at the hotel? And FREE admission to BOTCON? Where do I sign up?" Yayoi said, her eyes lit up in the shape of Autobot icons. The man handed her a pen shaped like Convoy's gun and an official lookin' document, whereby she put her John Handcock on the dotted line. "And here is your package. Everything you need is in there. We'll have the Elita One costume waiting for you when you get there." The man said as he handed her one of those large yellow envelopes. "No need, my man." she said "I have my own. I also have Convoy, Shockwave, Brawn, and Galvatron! And I'm working on a Grimlock for a buddy and Wheelie for Mina." "Wow. I had a Starcream outfit myself once." "Starscream..." Yayoi chuckled "Now that brings back memories. There was this Trans-party a few years ago and this kid showed up in a Starsream outfit. I remember it as if it were a flash back..." THE FLASHBACK (Guess who the Starsceam kid is. Go on! Guess!) "Dad!" Tenchi said "I can't go like this! Kids CHEER when Starscream gets killed in the movie!" "Sorry, but they were all out of blue paint. Grey is all they had." Nobuyuki said as he drove Tenchi to a Transformer Costume Party. Tenchi was none to pleased with his costume. No one liked Starscream, Tenchi included... oh well, when you wait till the last minute to get the paint for your costume, you get what's left over. "Now son, I know there are gonna be some girls at this party dressing like Elita-One and her Auto-fem-bots, so I want you to play nice!" Nobuyuki told his little son. "Okay dad, I wi-..... Wait a sec! Are you the one that keeps being unkind and not rewinding my tapes? And are you the one who keeps switching Soundwave's and Blaster's casettes around?" "Uh... Oh look! We're here!" Nobuyuki stopped the van "Quick, get out, son! The kids are waiting for you" Tenchi was hurriedly forced to exit the van. So fast he nearly forgot his Null Ray gun. The Van the QUICKLY pulled away and around the corner, leaving Tenchi standing infront ot the party. That's when it started. EVERYONE was dressed like Autobots, and You-Know-Who was dressed like Convoy (once again, for the Trans-impaired, Convoy is Optimus Prime). "LOOK!" Yayoi-Convoy said. "It's Starscream! Kitsune! Makoto! Get him!" "I told you to call me 'Hound!'" Kitsune said "And I'm Brawn!" added Makoto (Kino, that is) "Aw screw it! Autobots, Transform and get him!" ordered Yayoi. "Uh, Convoy" said a boy in a Pathfinder suit, "We can't transform." "Oh, right! Thanks, Ryouga! Let's just toss him in the dumpster" "AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!" was Tenchi's reply. The little boy ran as fast as he could, pursued by a large group of kids... well except for Pathfinder, who went the in the opposite direction. And ran Tenchi did... right into a man dressed like Grimlock, knocking him over in the process. "Tenchi?" Grimlock said in a familiar voice. It dinna take Tenchi long to figure out who it was... "DAD?!!!!!!" Before he could ask why, Starscream and Grimlock were set upon by a group of kids. The rest of that day for Tenchi was a Blur... though Nobuyuki said he had fun at the party. BACK TO THE FUTURE As a Delorian buzzed by, wiping the screen from the past to the present, Yayoi stopped and stared Tenchi down for a few seconds. "Hey, weren't you that kid that was dressed like Starscream?" Tenchi sweatdropped for a second, then finally spoke up "Are you kidding? I hate Starscream! I spit on him! Putooie!" Yayoi arched her eyebrow "What kinda dumpster was it?" "A Fujima 286 Medium Capacity Residential Dumpster with a double lid and.... D'OH!" Yayoi snickered as she looked through her through her package. The contents: Two special guest passes, Two resevations for the Transformers Discussion Dinner, a reservation for a hotel suite... seemed like there was stuff for two people to come. In fact, the words on the envelope confirmed it. "Yayoi Toreishi and Guest. Huh." In a space of time only measurable by Washu's computer and Mihoshi's calulating mind, Yayoi found the form of Tenchi attached to her leg. "PLEASE TAKE ME WITH YOU!!!" he pleaded "Uh... I do want to kill you, but I will if I have to. I suggest you let go of my leg." YES, IT'S YET LATER STILL, AT THE MASAKI HOME The collective family stepped outta the helicopter, with a trophy carried by Mina and Sasami. Misao was being carried in Yayoi's arms. Seems the little girl was all tuckered out. Ryoko and Aeka didn't seem very happy. "You know," Ryoko said "you girls only won because Misao looked so sad up on stage." "Never under estimate the power of sad eyes, Ryoko. They cause men to cave in almost instantly." Kanna replied "Observe." Kanna flashed Ijuin with a sad look on her face, and within the space of about 2.5 seconds, he was ready to be bent to Kanna's will "What's wrong, Kanna-chan?" "Oh," she said sorrowfully "nothing." "Oh come on! I know when a woman says nothing is wrong something IS wrong!" "No, really, nothing's wrong," Kanna stated "I was just using you to prove a point." "You can tell me! I care about your problems, Kanna!" "See, Ryoko? This proves two things. One, no real man can stand to see a sad lady, and two, men are stupid." "Yeah," Mina said "And Tenchi is the stupidest of them all! He's the KING of stupidness!" Tenchi growled, trying his best to control his temper. "It's okay, Tenchi-sib. She's your sister too, now." Yayoi replied. "Have at her!" "Oh, this is gonna be sweet!" Tenchi said as he made a move toward Mina. With a hearty "WAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!" Mina ran for the door, saying "Nya-Nya! You can't catch me! Nobody can catch me!" But, as fate and the author's whim would have it, when Mina opened the door, she was embraced by a pair of strong but motherly arms. As the limbs closed around her, a voice familiar to the Tenchi Muyo characters rang out with one word... "SASAMI-CHAN!!!!!!!!" So ends another chapter of the "My Sisters Toreishi" Saga. Stay tuned for a special side of "My Sisters Toreishi" entitled: "MY SISTERS TOREISHI SIDE STORY: GAME NIGHT"